TW: trauma, self-harm references
ALL…THIS…TIME!
I was rotting by myself.
My clothes smokey, because I walked through hell.
Every day is a new day. Yes, I’m sure.
But at the end of each day I’m still looking for a cure.
I don’t know how to pretend.
I don’t know if I can make it to the end.
I’m falling apart
Right from the start.
I didn’t know how to fight.
So I fought with my fists.
I couldn’t cut the ties that bind.
So I tear the flesh from my wrists.
ONE…MORE…TIME!
I dig deep into the skin.
The only comfort from the pain I’m in.
I took it all. The brunt of it all.
Was made to believe someone would catch me when I’d fall.
LIES! I couldn’t see because I was
BLIND! Blinded all because
the devil in disguise
stole the joy and life from my eyes.
I fought so many times.
Psychological abuse.
Verbal torment I can’t hide from.
I let it happen. What’s the use?
I escaped the deathly grip.
Found healing on the deadly trip.
Sad trips lead me to somewhere new.
Healing waters lead me to someone new.
Truth lives, Ebenezer!
Truth made me a believer.
Now I’ve escaped with my eyes wide open.
What’s unspoken remains broken.
I fought until I could no longer.
I gave into the healing work.
Brand new sights on the horizon.
Brand new life begins to emerge.
The day I found the lifeline,
the day the light shined through.
The message was so clear:
A seed must die to become something new.
So so so relatable.
People need a purpose, but when you look around and can see no meaning to this existence , or when you can’t create meaning on your own… it is so very isolating.
Thank you! I’m glad that it spoke to you!
It can be isolating! It’s important to lean into our systems of support during those times. Great connection!
This is incredibly powerful and moving. Wow.
Thank you, Mark!